Tag Archives: Barlowgirl

Lessons From Life: My Everything

 “Nevertheless, I am continually with you;
   you hold my right hand.
 You guide me with your counsel,
   and afterward you will receive me to glory.
  Whom have I in heaven but you?
   And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
  My flesh and my heart may fail,
   but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

 For behold, those who are far from you shall perish;
   you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.
But for me it is good to be near God;
   I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
   that I may tell of all your works.” (Psalms 73: 23-28 )

 These verses have been ones that God has been putting on my heart lately so heavily that they are not ignorable. He keeps asking me the question, “Olivia, am I the strength of your heart? Am I your portion forever? Am I your all?” I wince as I respond to Him, “Lord, I love you, you know I do.” He gently yet sternly asks again, “How much do you love me?” I wince again. “God, I’ve given you my life, what more do you want?” He is persistent. “Are you willing to give me those little parts of your heart that you’ve kept back? Those places in your life that you want to hold on to?” I start to panic… He knows about those things?! “God, what do you mean? I’ve given you my dreams, I’ve given you my heart and life.” He shakes His head. “Not all of your dreams. Not all of your heart and life. There are still those things that you want to be in control of. Give them to me. I wont let you down.” We continue on. Me in my hesitation to surrender these parts of me and Him in His gentle and yet strong pursuit of me and my everything. Until finally I came to my breaking point.

 A few nights ago God got through. I’ve been having some daily joint pain in my hands and fingers that has been concerning me because it’s been going on for about three weeks. The things that seem to make it worse are typing (though only sometimes) and playing piano and violin (again this is only sometimes) which really worried me. The use of my hands and fingers are pretty much my life. I’ve always said that I could never live without my hands. The very idea that the pain in my hands could be an actual reason for concern (and not just my wild imagination) scared me. The thought of not being able to use my hands as easily as I would like made me scared. God gently yet firmly kept telling me to surrender it to Him. I complained, I protested, I objected, but in the end I had no choice but to let go. I had to put my hands into God’s hands.

 Earlier this week He had me weeping over the above passage. In more areas than just my hands, He has been showing me that I need to surrender, that HE needs to be my everything. He needs to be my strength, my beauty, my portion, my all, my desire, my life, my everything. I have been begging God for months to show me that. To let my heart truly know the words of this Psalmist and be able to sing the words of “Enough” by Chris Tomlin or Barlowgirl’s song based on Psalms 73 and know that I mean them with my entire being. Though in my brain I might of realized it would mean me coming to a breaking point first, it really didn’t set in until it was happening.

 In the last two weeks God has just been blasting me with the message of faith, surrender, and His wondrous sovereignty everywhere. From a theological note in my study Bible, to the Jerry Bridges video we watched for Sunday school, it’s been everywhere. God has really been trying to get His point across… that just shows you how thick sculled I am most of the time. I am so glad He finally got through to me. Wrestling with God isn’t enjoyable, and you don’t win, so it’s time to wave the white flag. I will leave my ramblings over what God is showing to me with the words of the song “Let Go” by Barlowgirl. These words mirror my heart so perfectly that it almost scares me.

Yeah I trust in You
I remember times You led me
This time it’s bigger now
And I’m afraid You’ll let me down
But how can I be certain?
Will You prove Yourself again?

‘Cause I’m about to let go
And live what I believe
I can’t do a thing now
But trust that You’ll catch me
When I let go
When I let go

What is this doubt in me
Convincing me to fear the unknown
When all along You’ve shown
Your plans are better than my own
And I know I won’t make it
If I do this all alone

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Filed under Christianity, Everyday Life, Faith, Jesus, Music, Passion, Psalms

Psalms 73 (My God’s Enough)

 Only a few mere minutes ago I was sitting at my computer (and obviously I still am) and I was listening to itunes. I had it on shuffle and all of a sudden BarlowGirl’s song Psalms 73 (My God’s Enough) came on and I was struck my the words, not for the first time though. So I decided to reread Psalms 73 and was struck again by the beauty of it. Now I want you all to read the whole chapter, but for now I will give you a simpler version of it.

1 Truly God is good to Israel,
         To such as are pure in heart.
 2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled;
         My steps had nearly slipped.
 3 For I was envious of the boastful,
         When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
10 Therefore his people return here,
         And waters of a full cup are drained by them.
 11 And they say, “How does God know?
         And is there knowledge in the Most High?”
 12 Behold, these are the ungodly,
         Who are always at ease;
         They increase in riches.
 13 Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain,
         And washed my hands in innocence.
18 Surely You set them in slippery places;
         You cast them down to destruction.
 19 Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment!
         They are utterly consumed with terrors.
 20 As a dream when one awakes,
         So, Lord, when You awake,
         You shall despise their image. 
          21 Thus my heart was grieved,
         And I was vexed in my mind.
 22 I was so foolish and ignorant;
         I was like a beast before You.
 23 Nevertheless I am continually with You;
         You hold me by my right hand.
 24 You will guide me with Your counsel,
         And afterward receive me to glory.
         
 25 Whom have I in heaven but You?
         And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
 26 My flesh and my heart fail;
         But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
         
 27 For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
         You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
 28 But it is good for me to draw near to God;
         I have put my trust in the Lord GOD,
         That I may declare all Your works. (NKJ version)

 I know that is a lot, but so powerful. I have felt like the Psalmist many times. You look at the TV and see all these people who are wicked and sinful, and yet their lives seem so perfect. They have fame, fun, money, everything that people chase after. We see slave owners that are filthy rich. Politicians with power, yet don’t play by the rules to get it. We forget that their end is destruction. If they don’t turn to God their end is hell. We tend to envy the wicked. I do it myself. But when reading Proverbs last spring I was struck by how God promises that the WICKED WILL NOT PROSPER, EVEN THOUGH IT APEARS THAT WAY. These are the lyrics of BarlowGirl’s song,

I’ve had enough of living life for only me
And reaching just for the things that keep destroying me
So sick of envying the lives of so many I see
Somehow believing that they have what I needMy God’s enough for me
This world has nothing I need
In this whole life I’ve seen
My God’s enough, enough for me

 


I can’t explain why I suffer though I live for You
Those who deny You they have it better than I do
Cover my eyes now so that my heart can finally see
That in the end only You mean anything

Who have I in heaven but You
Nothing I desire but You
My heart may fail but not You
You are mine forever

 

I really hope this reminds you all that God is enough for us. That even though the evil (or vil-eay in Pig Latin) appear to be winning, they will come to a bitter defeat. They are no match for God’s wrath. And though those who chose to live for God in this life will not have all the joys of this life, we will have eternal life in the next and be rewarded for what we do here. For our God is a God of justice. He will not let the wicked go unpunished.

Love in Christ, Olivia (Nobody) <><

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Filed under Christianity, Faith, Justice, Psalms

Servant’s Heart

“You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That’s committed to Your call
.
” ___ Surrender, Barlowgirl

 God has shown me what he can do if someone is willing to serve him. On Thursday night I was lying on my bed praising God for just using me. I was blown away by the opportunities that God has placed in my life to serve him. My dad had just got back from the deacons meeting and said that my project to raise money for LC2LC was approved and I had just heard that I would be writing for Seekers Of Truth. I was amazed that he was using me. My prayer for years has been that God would use me even more so these last few months. And I am amazed at what he can do with a young girl that loves him. It boggles my mind.

 What I want to ask you guys is: Do you have a servant’s heart? Are you willing to serve Jesus with your life? Are you willing to step out of the boring and easy and simple and to use your life to bring glory to your creator and savior? Just think about this. And never say that you are too young. For when the prophet Jeremiah said that God rebuked him. Let’s not miss out on the blessing of serving God and being able to do great and awesome things with the power that he is willing to give us.

~~~Nobody~~~

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